Monday Musings

Monday Musings: How Being Attached to Places Impacts our Sense of Self


I have always felt connected to New York City.

I spent lots of time there during my childhood—visiting family, connecting myself to the beauty of Harlem, and finding myself lost in the sea of skyscrapers. I would dream of leaving my suburban life in Connecticut, and could clearly envision my family moving into a brownstone in Harlem. It got to the point where I had decided that New York was the PLACE for me, I would not be happy anywhere else.

Fast forward to the end of my high school days. I was off to college and going to NYU, my dream school in my dream city. I was excited to be a part of the city that had captivated me for so long. I spent those four years loving New York even more—it was the backdrop to my coming of age tale. I learned so much about the world in that city, and it was where I came into myself. When my college days started to wind down, I found myself wondering if people could develop a sense of dependence on a place, and find their identity wrapped up in a particular location.

I moved to Philly in August, and I find myself actively and inactively longing for New York. Philly is a cool city, but my attachment to New York has made it difficult for me to fully enjoy living here. I realized that New York became a safe space for me, as strange as that may sound. I had attached myself to it, and now I’ve realized that I cannot allow myself to be too comfortable in any one space. This year I’ve been thinking of ways to keep myself in a state of healthy discomfort, which includes moving around, traveling more, and not limiting myself and my identity to only one space. This is important not only for physical spaces, but also mental and emotional ones. It’s important that I keep pushing myself to branch out, and not cling to places or ideas for comfort. StockSnap_22BP3KNNOQ.jpg

All About Hair

My Hair Story: The Things I’ve Learned After Being Natural for 4 Years


I’ve come a long way since I was this little girl with natural hair. I went through my hair falling out, relaxers thinning my hair out, and severe heat damage. I’ve neglected my hair, and lost so much unnecessary length due to breakage. But now, I’m finally in a place where I have figured out my hair, and am consistently doing what I need to keep it healthy.


I’ve been experimenting with different products, and even creating my own concoctions to keep my hair healthy in any weather. Like many naturals, I suffer from moments of “product junkie-ism, but I have learned to have more self control. One of the most important lessons that I have learned since being natural is that you shouldn’t drop products that work for you just because you’re eager to try the latest thing. There have been so many times that I have forgotten about staple products because I’ve been caught up in trying everything else on the market.


Another lesson that I learned was to not let my attachment to my hair stop me from trying out new styles. There’s no point in having your hair if you can’t enjoy it! So far I’ve been experimenting with some of the “traditional” natural styles like braid outs, twist outs, bantu knot-outs, etc. But I have also tried wigs, crochet braids, mini twists and Senegalese twists. The next thing on my list to try is dye!


One of the last and biggest mistakes that I made once I was fully natural was neglecting to trim my hair regularly. While I was transitioning from heat damage, I trimmed my hair every couple of months, but once I had finally gotten rid of my last bits of damaged hair, I somehow convinced myself that I no longer needed regular trims. My hair suffered from so much breakage and single strand knots due to this, and now I make sure to trim my hair as needed.


No matter where you are with your hair journey, no matter what type of hair you have, or what styles you’re into, make sure to always love and enjoy your hair. All types of hair are beautiful, and once you figure out what works for your hair you’ll fall in love with it.

P.S. Check out my youtube channel to see tutorials and more hair advice!